Expectations:the mother of frustrations!

Expectations:the mother of frustrations!

Necessity…the mother of all invention

Expectation…the mother of all frustrations!

All of us almost right through our life, keep different types of long term or short term goals - personal goals, professional, financial, social, relationship goals; goals related to physical wellbeing and health, spiritual goals etc. Sometimes we are not even aware about them ourselves, but we are passing through the journey of life with some purpose.,

Whatever actions we perform are aimed at fulfilling this purpose. Also these actions are fullof expectations, the expectations of achieving desired results. These results which we desire or expect arrive at times and sometimes they don't. If they don't, which is a very common aspect; they generate emotions of worry inside us. Worry and stress not only harm the spiritual and emotional self but even our physical body and relationships, making the journey difficult and tiring. 

It is not incorrect to be action oriented and having some clear objectives in progressing towards our purpose, but we need to be capable of aiming ourselves at our dreams without becoming date conscious and having the expectation of them being fulfilled now, or on a specific date or in a particular way. If not, we live in a tomorrow consciousness and tend to get upset or discouraged easily and we don't enjoy our present. It is not incorrect to be happy when we achieve something, but if our happiness is dependent on our achievements, we will always delay it. Also, it’s important to note thata carefree and detached intellect will always attract positive circumstances.

We all have expectations, expectations from ourselves, others and life. Whether it is at work, school or in relationships, we have anticipations in every step of our life.

Let us try to analyze two scenarios:

Scenario I: Fulfilled Expectations

Imagine a situation wherein you had expected a huge profit from a business transaction. The moment the task was accomplished the first and obvious response is an inflated ego; a feeling of pleasure and attachment towards what made it occur. This cyclic process of success and failure tends to keep continuing invicious circles.

For e.g. you have liked your birthday gift, it will create attachment (Raag) for the gift. On the other hand if the gift was not as per your expectation, it will initiate a series of chain reactions which in-turn bring into play unconstructive attributes (sanskaar) like ego, anger, jealousy and comparison.  Your hurt ego will initiate negative feelings which would in-turn lead to frustration.

Scenario II: Unfulfilled Expectation

Imagine a situation wherein your expectations were unfulfilled, e.g. your long planned holiday to U.S.A got cancelled. It will invoke a series of negative reactions and negative energy from within. This negative energy generates feelings of anxiety, anger, jealousy and hatred.

No Expectation…No disappointment; No Expectations … No Reactions!

Having expectation is the root cause of several negative influences in our life. If there are no expectations, there are no reactions. Whenever there is any disappointment, negativity spreads around you.

Once we realize and respect the fact that we are all unique and different from each other we can help avoid (or reduce) expectations.

When I contribute to every task with my own specialties I have double satisfaction. I have the satisfaction of having contributed something and I am also free from expectations from others. I also find that because I am able to give unconditionally, others too are able to co-operate with me.

Our expectations should be focused on ourselves, not on others. We tend to have high expectations from others while almost refusing to see the shortfalls in our selves. It is easy for us to change ourselves and change our expectations rather than expecting people around us to change to meet our expectations.

Are we able to fulfill all the expectations that others have for us?

When you give selflessly, you actually open yourself to a completely different experience. It will help you to lead a very happy and peaceful life and keep you away from the negative attributes of your soul like attachment, anger, jealousy and ego. It is progressing towards your journey of soul purification.

Give and expect nothing.

And you will be rewarded with great surprises!